Teenage Girly Moment

I don't like people very easily off. At all, especially guys. But the more I talk to someone, the more heis kinda growin on me. He's a different kind of smart than I am (in a totally cool way), goal oriented, crazy nice.

Stuff like this doesn't happen to me, but I like it.

Assholes

You know it's kinda nice to talk to a guy that isn't an asshole.
But then again, I haven't known him for long.

Summer Means .. ew Weddings

Oh my gosh, enough of the weddings! One thing I hate about summer.Those who know me know I take great pride in trying to be 'untraditional'. Honestly up until this past Thanksgiving I'm pretty sure I did not wanna get married. I grew up in a household where my parents were together, just together. They didn't love each other and I'd known that for years. So I guess you can say other than in television, I've never seen parents like really in love. I've never been in love, but I'd like to think that if/when I do fall in said emotion that it's for real. I'm also very afraid of divorce. I know I'm sensitive, (even though I’m trying hard to toughen up my skin a bit) so I'm pretty sure a divorce would break me into pieces. I literally felt that way as my parents currently go through this, so how could I actually go though this myself?Anyways back to me being untraditional and following my life theme of "going against the grain". You know, a traditional wedding isn't necessary for me. I’m not materialistic all, and I'd much rather spend my life savings on my honeymoon rather that a dress I’ll only wear ONCE!

Heaven and Hell

Truthfully at this point, I know I don’t if I even believe in heaven and hell anymore, well at least in death. I’m starting to believe that in life on earth we are living our own personal heavens and hells. That day-to-day, each of us are living our worst fears/smallest pains and biggest dreams/tiniest desires simultaneously. We have a load on both sides of the scale, but the reality of it all..what we are actually feeling is based on whichever load at the time is the heaviest.

2 Major Weaknesses

I’m judgmental, and not very forgiving,

It’s funny how the most judgmental people are the ones who are most afraid of being judged. I’m definitely one of the most judgmental people I’ve met, not even gonna lie. When I say that i'm judgemental, let me clarify. I not saying a that i really judge people by thier physical appearance like what kind of clothes, jewelry, etc. I tend to pay special attention to what they say and how they act. I used to be really bad making it obvious that I’m trying to feel people out until somebody brought it to my attention. Now I’m super sneaky about it. ;)

I’m also working on being more of a forgiving person. I’m making improvements everyday. Even thought people seem to try and test me everyday. One lesson I’m slowly learning about forgiveness is that byholding a grudge, your not giving anybody a crutch except youself. You can walk around hating this person with all of your energy, but honestly that’s not making any difference in their life, they’re still living their life. So the best thing you can do for yourself is forgiving that person for your sanity’s not theirs.